This past weekend I went out with my friend Jared to the thrift stores. While in one of them, I spotted a poster advertising for a new So. Ill Roller Derby team that had just started up. After contemplating it a day or so, I emailed the coach and expressed intrest.
“I’ll be honest, I haven’t skated in probably 15 years.”
“That’s ok.” she said. “Most of us hadn’t either until they started in June.”
So I read and watched youtubes about Roller Derby, then went to practice last night – assuming I was just going to watch. (I hadn’t skated in ages, surely the coach wouldn’t throw me to the sharks?) Oh no. No no no no no. I get there, and see not only a ton of the punk gals I used to hang out with ages ago at the local punk house – but they say “Throw on some skates and pads, meet us on the floor.”
Me, being the adventurous type that I am, complied and found that skating like bike riding, comes back to you after a few laps around the track. I’m certainly no professional, but I could manage to do one or two laps without falling on me bum.
Then the level 1′s (The ones who have passed the basic tests – ie, falling, stopping, skating backward, safety, balance, etc) went off to learn blocks and whips, while I and a few other gals went with the Ref to learn the “Fresh Meat” things. You see, they call us newbies Fresh Meat. I watched for a few, and realized I was a bit… overdressed. Most of the gals were in fishnets, short shorts, or skirts, one gal even had stockings painted on her legs, and not much else. I chilled in my jeans, thinking the more protection the better, right?
Oh, I was so wrong. When you wear those big knee pads, what you don’t initially realize is that if you wear pants (especially stiff ones like jeans) under them, they tend to bunch, shift, or otherwise cause discomfort. I have learned my lesson. I went out and bought tights and fishnets.
Anyway – We did drills – and let me take a moment to remind you all, that by this time, I had gotten on skates for the first time in 15 years only 10 minutes ago – we did drills of falls. Sure, this looks like fun, I thought to myself. It was. It was a LOT of fun. We learned how to fall correctly (because you WILL fall. Either by losing your balance, or by being knocked over, or tripped) we learned how to fall on one knee, then the other, and recover, we learned how to fall on both knees, how to do a slide, how to turn around while falling on your knees and sliding backward, we learned how to fall on your knees then slide down to your elbows, all the while going as fast as you can on skates.
Then we did drills of skating backward, turning, crossover steps, and eventually Hercules drills – where five people line up, and the back person pushes them all around the track, then switches and pulls them around the track. Pleasant, no? Painful? Yes.
I am sore today. I knew I would be. I am also very, very happy. I also have two large bruises on my knees, which I wear with pride.
I am officially a derby doll.
